I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
