Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize
