My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
