oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Randomize
