Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
