Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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