His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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