It's Friday. Sex?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
