try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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