but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
