well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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