Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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