It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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