i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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