According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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