im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Randomize