you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
