You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
