we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
