You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
