I will die if light touches me.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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