you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
