Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize