I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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