I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
