i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
This house was built for laser tag.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Randomize
