I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
