Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
