No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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