Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
