Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
