Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
