Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
