I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
