I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
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