3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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