bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize