the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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