you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
