I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
