I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
