So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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