goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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