Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I think i got beer on your cat.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize