I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
there's paper in my vomit.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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