Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
