i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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