This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
