he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
