pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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