Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Your dad touched me again.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
