And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
