i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
