just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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