You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize