He disabled his match.com account in front of me
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
