he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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