my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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