Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
