i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
