I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'm determined to sit on that face.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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