your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
