I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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